Cat Hunger Games Part 1: The Reaping
by ComedyMaster333
Summary: A hilarious parody of Hunger Games, with cats. Why cats? Because they're cuddleh.


PART 1: THE REAPING

"Die Cat-o!" I say fericiously. How did I get here? *flashback*

It was the day of reaping. This day was dreaded by all of the cats. There were 12.5 districts. District 13 was supposed to be dead but (spoiler) they still live underground. The Hunger Games was a reminder from the Catopal that they could destroy anyone they wanted. Every year, they held the games for cats ages 2-5. It used to be 12 to 18, but most cats don't live that long. If they did, you know what would happen.

I am Katniss. I live in district 12 with my mom-which I call meema-and my little brother Prim. I know that's a girl name, but that's what the author named him. (Stupid author) We quickly got out of our house in the String, which is the poor part of the district. We got a spot in the town square and waited for the others to arrive.

Everyone crowded in the town square. "Ow, someone is stepping on my foot!" a random cat hissed. I quickly moved my foot before they would know who it was. "It's now time to begin the ripping. Er- excuse me. Reaping." Effie Trinkitty announced. "I shall now pick names out of this dead fox's skin. Yes, I know, our budget is a little tight." Anxiety grew as they wheeled in the dead fox with flies buzzing around it. "The girl tribute is..." *dramatic pause*

"Prim!" Effie announced. "Wait, what?" I was very confused. Prim walked up and they saw that he was a boy. "Whoops, we'll have to pick again. This year's girl tribute is..." *another dramatic pause* "Katniss!" I was frozen with shock. Literally. They had to pull me up to the stage. "The boy tribute is..." *third dramatic pause* "What does this say?" Effie paused. The peacecats walked up and whispered something to her. "Peeta Lark!" she finished. He strode up to the stage, confident. "I feel bad for you. That sounds like a birds name." I tell Peeta. "It comes from my mom's side," he replied.

"That's all folks!" Effie concluded. Families walked back to their houses, relieved that their child had not been picked. We only had five minutes to say goodbye. When I'm about to board the train, I find a Mockingjay pin on the ground. "Eww. Looks like it's used. What the heck is that?" Mockingjays hasn't been invented yet. It only took us ten minutes to get there. A bright light hit my eyes as the door opened.

The Catopal was beautiful. There was lots of white with splashes of vibrant colors. We walked down a path to the tower. "Ouch!" I hiss as I trip. Peeta helps me up, with a strange look in his eyes. I have never seen this look before. We are told that we have no mentor. "I thought we had this crazy guy named Haymitch?" I question. "Well, he kinda overdosed on beer. Long story." the peacecat replied. "Occording to the rules, we have to have SOMEONE train you." The only other one here is- Oh gosh. I don't even want to mention them. Guess What? We have to be trained by- the one and only- Effie Trinkitty.

"Stab! Slash!" Effie yells. We follow her command. When we arrive at the public training, we see lots of new cats. One of them looks really evil, so I name her Foxface.

Wait-Is that? I get a sudden excitement and rush toward the stack of balloons. I'm busy playing with them when I get interrupted by a large, muscular cat. He introduces himself as Flint, and seems interested in me. When he leaves, I blush. I have a medical problem, and whenever I seem balloons, I'm attracted to them like they're a magnet. Don't blame me, I inherited it from my great-grandfather Jimbo. Weird name, weird personality. I don't really want to talk about it.

Time for private sessions. Wonderful. I'm not a person who is generally good at anything, except for using a rocket launcher. Chances are, there isn't gonna be a rocket launcher in the Cornucopia. Hmm. Paint. I get a brilliant idea. When I'm called up, I grab some different colors of paint and some berries along with a huge backdrop. I spend a little more than half the time painting the landscape. I had to paint it rainbow because there was only a limited amount of paint. I use the berries to dye the body to fit in with the landscape. Afterwards, I look at the score for my private session. This year they added comments. I got a thirteen. New record. "I like Rainbow." The first comment. "Katniss is pretty" The second one. "Excellent job with the dyes" The third one. Finally a real comment. That's why you don't have Romney and Obama as commentators.

The moon falls right before the games. I can't sleep, so I go to the top of the tower. I sit, gazing at the moonlight until I hear footsteps. "Hey Lark" I say. "Ha ha ha Katniss." Peeta snickers as he sits next to me. "Hungry?" He tosses a live bird at the forcefield. Fried. "I've never had fried chicken before," I reply. We hold hands and look at the beautiful view of the Catopal.

I wake up noticing I'm on top of Peeta. "Awk-ward!" I quickly get up. The sun has risen and the games are about to begin. We get carried to the arena in a hovercraft and into the catacombs. I get the the capsule. I almost forget my uniform. Don't want to enter the arena without it! (That would just be weird.) The capsule slowly lifts up and I fill with excitement. "Finally I get to kill someone!" I say, evilly.

Read the second part for more laughs, strange commentary by the author, and embarrasing moments!

Want more than the original book?

s/8741248/1/Cat-Hunger-Games-A-parody-EX1-Tribute-Parade-How-Haymitch-Won


End file.
